Sunday, August 29, 2010

100829

You know what?
The one I hate most is human;
But the one I love most is still human.
I know it's contradicting with each other but you can't deny that human are so lovely sometimes.
I smiled when I typed these sentences.

I've been emotional for few times these days.
Not to say what, but I'm feeling sorry to my friends, maybe they knew or maybe they don't.
I don't care? Honestly, I'm not feeling care whether they know the reason or not because this is my personal feeling and I know this is such a selfish thinking.
There is reason, too.
This is why I hate human so much.

People know your feeling easily but they do not comfort you because they think you're naive.
People do not know you feeling but they will say somethings that hurt you without realising because they think you're strong and mature enough to accept their words.
All about dignity.

I'm sure the people around me knew that I have strong dignity.
Maybe they think I don't as I act like not caring for everything.
I can tell you how poor am I, how dramatic is my family but I didn't give the permission to you and say about me.
This is my deadline, I know but people don't know.

Sometimes, I blamed.
But I know if I let the negative feeling continuously controlling me, I'm sure I'm dead before giving chance in judging me.

I love to be human, honestly, I love to be a smart human but I know I'm not.
When people around me started to tell me: Don't say like that, you're smart, you just need to work hard.
Hey, guys.. I was actually wanted to say: Bullshit! You are actually looking down at me in your mind but as my friend, you need to give me a faith.
Don't deny it. The people in this world are just so realistic.
I learned about this, how long time ago? I don't know.

However, you gotta thanks these people.
Because of them, you can keep on challenging, until the day you success and prove to everyone: Yes, I did it.
The world actually say that: So what? People took the chances before you success.
And you will feel like: Ow, I'm too late.
And then people encourage you again: It's not too late, you still can fight for it.
And you will start your engine again and say to yourself: Yes, I'm still continuing in fighting my war.

All in all, human is such a nice beautiful word.
They fail us, they encourage us.
They make us cry, they make us smile.
They make us angry, they make us calm.
They make us disappointed, they give us hope in the future.

Am I speaking in a subjective way?
Perhaps. But obviously, this is PERSONAL BLOGGING.
And if you're not agree with me, just get your ass out of my blog, sorry to remind you in my last sentence of this blog post, and yes I'm purposely. =)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

100824

I'm in a mess situation now.
Supposed I should know how to do the questions perfectly but I can't do at all.
In other way, I comfort myself by saying: If I know how to do then I won't be a repeater.
When I keep on comforting myself, I feel so helpless and useless.
Am I in the right path?

People keep on moving forward, and once again I face the stress of stepping backward.
Or maybe it is not a backward, but just standing the the point that you have stood for long time, non even move a little small step.

I don't wish to give up FINANCE, I know how useful is it and I need it much.
But if I'm not doing well on it but still holding it tightly, this shows greedy of me and I should just GIVE UP!
But, it's too early to say give up, isn't it?
Not even comes the Quiz 1, and it's tomorrow.
Maybe I'm just too nervous on it.

I can even feel my testiness and impatient just now.
Maybe my friends will feel it through my words, but I didn't mean to do so.
People thought I'm so relaxing even though the quiz is just on tomorrow but maybe I'm just too good in acting? Who knows?

I missed someone's voice and I know I won't hear it for now.
I miss her singing, really.
But in fact, I just know her for 2 months, I guess. XD
I think her voice was just too impressed me.
And I am just able to play the song that she sang before at the KTV to calm me down. =(

Hey, girl.
We'll grab a chance and meet with you again ya.
But, hearing that you will come over Miri next year.
Or I might go over your place the year end, who knows?
Haha.. anyways, you are impossible to read my blog and still, I wanna say: Nice to meet you, truthfully.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

100817

I'm just wondering sometimes.
What kind of Uni life is the best?
Socializing? Gathering? Clubbing? Partying? Or just being at home. LOL

I have 8am class, later.
I gotta wake up at 6.45am because I'm grabbing the 7.10am bus.
Honestly, I feel like wanna skip, but skipping for no point.
Sleep, maybe.

I have few number of friends are just started their Uni life.
Reading their blogs, seeing their status in facebook or some twitted in twitter.
Um.. What can I say?
They probably lost themselves in a world that full with attraction, new world for them by the way.

Ow~ One of my friends joined the "30 hours Hunger" campaign.
My first thought was: Paying money to make yourself suffer. No offense.
My second thought: After I earn money, I wanna fly to South Africa (or other places that need my help) and take care of some children or maybe donate some daily stuffs by myself.
Why? Because I was inspired by a guy from Strong Heart (100810 Episode).
My third thought: If I want to experience the same things with those poor kids, I rather do it in the place together with them.

Seriously, I personally think this is a good campaign as it allowed us to know the feeling of hunger and helpless for that moment.
All of us are growing under a good environment, food eating whenever you want: Maggie is the worst or spends thousands for one meal.
At last, we're still having a meal to avoid the hunger.
Poor babies, we are.

When I spend the money, I know I am enjoying.
But when I look at some poor kids through Youtube or passages forwarded to my email or spread through facebook, maybe I have a bit guilty but it doesn't help much.
What can I do is so little, I can't even afford for my outing sometimes, (Okay, please don't show your pity face ya, I have my financial planning, so close your mouth and swollen all the words you want to say to me if you have.) I try to find everything which is lower cost, or maybe I had paid for it, so I just use it till the max.

By the way, even I am facing financial crisis, I do live well.
Thanks to... I can't even think of thanks to who. Okay, maybe my parents, yes, this is definitely I need to thank them.

You know what?
I hate that people always saying they are poor to me.
They seriously don't know what is its meaning.
They still afford to buy shirts, watch a movie, having a meal that costs RM10 and above.
Ow, you might think: OMG~ Those are just small money!
Ha.. Accumulated all your expense, I can buy a ticket and go for a trip, NO LIES ON YOU.

Opps, it's too much for tonight!
I think I'm only able to sleep for 5 hours and wake up for the class.
Goodnight!

PS: No arguing with me because this is my own thought and seriously no offense. I would like to apologize if there is anyone who feels unwell with this post. =)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

100803: BoA(보아) - HURRICANE VENUS

It's BoA!! Finally she is back.
Actually, I have watched this teaser for 10 times and above, I guess.
Haha.. it is just too nice!
I listened to the audio too.. She made me had a high expectation on her comeback, and yes, all of us do.

5 years, it is not a short period but she proved herself in everywhere: Japan, Korea and even US!!
She is born to be singer, no doubt on it!
Just check this teaser out! =)

Monday, August 2, 2010

100802

It's really suck when you gonna face all those about PRIDE.
I really feel like wanna scold F*** to myself.
There's nothing big deal~
It's just feel suck when you see your friends step one step or even more than you at the same time.

People around you are talking some units that you supposed to get this semester.
And where are you?
2 steps behind.
And you can't do anythings.
Because you are not smart enough and rich enough!
F*** my life, seriously, I might think like that sometimes.

But, I have to feel thankful that at least I'm given a chance to study.
Although I'm not smart enough but I am studying.
My study failure isn't equal to fail my life, but we know that study is a part of our lives.

It's really not a big deal compare to some can't even study at all and went to work in a young age.
I should really feel thankful.

Okay! And now, goodnight!
I'm gonna fight for tomorrow!
A new day has come; a new semester has began; a new war is waiting for me.
Keep your smiling on your face, and you will able to win till the end. =)